Today I just want to share and ask everybody to learn more about their relationships.
I think relationships are the vessel where we learn more from.
Harville Hendrix is so amazing, he and his wife Helen created Imago Relationship Therapy and co-founded Imago Relationships International, an international non-profit organization that offers training, support and promotion of the work of 2000 Imago therapists in 30 countries. Harville lectures, offers therapy intensives and workshops for couples internationally.
He wrote this:
Our unconscious need is to have our feelings of aliveness and wholeness restored by someone who reminds us of our caretakers. In other words, we look for someone with the same deficits of care and attention that hurt us in the first place.
So when we fall in love, when bells ring and the world seems altogether a better place, our old brain is telling us that we’ve found someone with whom we can finally get our needs met. Unfortunately, since we don’t understand what’s going on, we’re shocked when the awful truth of our beloved surfaces, and our first impulse is to run screaming in the opposite direction. (from Imago website)
I encourage you to take a look at his website at :
In this other article for the Huffingtonpost he talks about zero negativity in a relationships. He says : One way to frame a safe conversation is to start with a statement like “I’m having a hard time with something, and I want to share it with you. Is now a good time to talk?” If it’s not a good time for the other person to hear this, the requester must accept it. But the other person must in turn offer a time he or she would be more open to hearing your concerns. Knowing that you are going to express something critical takes away the element of surprise and defensiveness in the other person, and allows you to state your concern in a thought out, gentle way. It makes it much more likely that they will be willing to compromise and come closer to your side of the fence.
Please check out this article at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harville-hendrix/conscious-relationships_b_1730571.html
Hope you all have a beautiful sunday and week.