Universe

Sometimes I wish I could talk 1-on-1 with the Universe. Sometimes it makes no sense. People do things for me, people I have never met and how can that be ? How are there human beings that are that kind and sweet? How is it that the universe always cares this much and guides me?

I see people’s eyes and if you don’t show me your eyes that is when my heart can’t feel you. It is a deeper connection. Eyes are without a doubt the gateway to people’s soul. Trust me when I say a veteran, a homeless have more beautiful meaningful eyes than a milionaire, a ceo or a famous model sometimes. Why is it that people without money or success in business sometimes have the best personal lifes? When you observe you realize the simpler you are and the most impeccable you are everything arranges itself for own benefit.

I couldn’t be more grateful, I have almost given up so many times in so many things. I always receive messages and guidance from people though. It never been more clearer to me that we are taken care of as long as you believe it and accept it. Let yourself see the signs, try not be skeptical for one day. When you let your guard down even nature will make sense in its connectivity to you.

The lessons are hard to endure, fears even if created by you feel real and I know it is not easy. I am not a perfect human, actually I have more emotional scars than most, but by being flawded that I know we need inspiration, we need to believe and we cannot stop dreaming. I am the one that always hears you are not seeing reality, you fantasize too much and you are too nice( you like everyone ). I will keep chosing to be this way, I haven’t left home at 16 thinking the world was a dangerous place, ofcourse it is sometimes but I believe there is more good than bad and if you look for people like that they show up like the air that you breath, from every corner and everyday. However, you have to make the choice to see it, do not be blinded by your own negative thought. We make this world a safer place starting by trusting you will be taken cared no matter what. I know being a dreamer in the world today isn’t practical but what other choice do we have I know feeling bad for myself wont bring me anywhere.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.John Lennon

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2016

Let your thoughts flow and don’t be scared of what comes from it. We live so afraid of our feelings and thoughts. If anything 2015 has taught me that with hardship comes growth and although I love the “fun times” and “happy moments”, I am grateful for my growth and where I am arriving in 2016. 

I am no near perfect or should I say I should be an example for anyone. However, I am certain my path will bring me to amazing things if I keep discovering and being opened to people and to what God(universe) wants to show me. 

We live in an age and time where we need more people who encourage one another, love and protect. When I say protect I even say protect us from us. We are hunted by our traumas and those that make us act insane. I know for me at the end of the day, when all is dark and it’s just me against me that I know what I truly have to offer and no matter how much sadness I have lived I know I deserve and desire wonderful things. Look to the world as a safe place and it will look back at you the same way. 

I want us and me to realize we must love one another, we must love ourselves and sometimes that means learning to say NO. Say NO to everything that doesn’t connect to who you are, where you want to be or simply doesn’t make you feel good. You were given intuition, tap into that. Ask yourself who is good to me, in my friendships, my family, at work and even my partner. Am I truly being loved and appreciated? 

Cheers to better choices in 2016! 

Mind battles for a woman

It is hard sometimes and I dont think people realize. I suffered and I let myself feel a sort of fear and pain everyday. I am not sure when it started but I know I feel it. I didn’t become celibate for anyone but myself. 

Sex confused me, first my body changed in such early age, I knew guys looked at me when I was 10 years old already. I somehow felt bad because it didn’t feel right, it took me long years to understand the attention actually made me hate my body. 

Time made me learn to accept my sexuality and who I am. But that brought the thoughts that my boyfriend only loved me when we had sex, if we don’t have sex we are not in love. Brought the thoughts for a guy to stay with me, sex is necessary. It brought so much confusion. 

I gave up having sex without commitment because I want to be sexy for me. I want to be loved for me. I want to accept my body, my mind and my soul. I want a man to accept me as I am, as well. But how can I require a man to love me for me if I have battles with that myself? Sex is not love is just an addition to the love that should already exist. 

I am not ashamed to pose and be sexy. It took me long years to understand that is ok. That God is not judging me, that the world won’t judge me as long as I don’t judge myself. I decided I will appreciate and cherish myself so a man can be able to do that, as well.

If anything this year taught me that all that I think is being created in my life. It is intense how much complications we put everyday in our lives. Don’t feel bad about your decisions but please understand what are you doing for YOU and what are you doing because you think OTHERS or the SOCIETY want you to do. 

Deep down you know the answers. Search!

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms

God has been trying to speak to me in so many different ways and I finally understood his message. 

” Be still and know that I am God.” Psalms

Such a powerful message. The past weeks and this whole year I felt I was brought to truly know God. From the uber driver that stopped his car and prayed with me, to the pastor Uber driver I was with when I received the best news of the year and then uber driver that gave a bible passage to read that was the same bible passage I opened my bible at when I was about to go to bed the same night. At first I thought is all coincidence but today I realize it wasn’t the case. 

I met someone the other day that told me watch the documentary AWAKE that same day a friend of mine dream that I was pregnant, people say the meaning of that specific type of dreams is health and new beginnings. The documentary was about yogananda and his teachings that are the same beliefs I had since I was a child. Somehow people started appearing in my life that either read his book or knew about his life’s work and places I could learn more about him. 

Finally I invited a friend of mine to church, he only went to church once before. He agreed, we had a good time and some days later, coming to today he invited me to Lake Shrine Temple. http://www.lakeshrine.org/

I accepted going and decided to bring my dog’s ashes. I wanted she to be sacred in the best possible place. Today was the day my friend that died in October was meant to graduate and receive his medical degree, as well. Both died days in between. Felt like it all made sense that I was invited to the temple this specific day. Arriving there we see there is a temple tour at 2pm, which only happens fridays at that time and sundays. I know it sounds hilarious but for me it felt meant to be. I learned about the temple and we were asked to meditate for 5 min. I felt my soul connected to God and I asked the meaning of all of this. I felt the answer was for you to be healed you need to be still. While being still you will be with me.

Life will always get hectic, 2015 was the hardest year I ever had until today. Being still is the answer. You can’t control events, people or your own life sometimes. God can, and he can much more than that. Don’t lose hope but maybe change your focus from you to a higher self. 

Be with God. Be still! 

Romantic love

It is something about your eyes, the way you look at me. You say I love you with your stare. It is like someone is seeing me the way I always wanted to see myself.

It is a connection that words cannot explain and I feel it inside of me. It isn’t like butterflies, it’s more like a hurricane taking over every bit and every sense in my body. Your mind speaks to mine, your heart beats with mine and the energy is overflowing with love. I feel like if I feel pain or joy that you will feel it too. Time stops.

You are like the best friend I just met. The words you write are being written inside my mind and going directly into my heart. Someone I feel I will take over the world with and it scares me.  Because I know with time you will know who I really am and might give this up. I am not the perfect girl you think I am and I have a lot of fears. One of them is starting something that I care more than anything and then losing it. Is sometimes easier not to try.

I used to be the girl that risks everything but time has taught me that not everything is as it seems. Not all that shines is gold. But I am here trying to believe again. I fall into pieces, I start breaking because I never feel at ease. Maybe it is my anxiety that ends my chances with feeling and living real love.

I guess all I need to hear is follow me, believe in us and everything will be ok. It is always easier said than done. I guess I want you to not let me give up, I guess I need you to never give up for us and make me see my fears are always illusions I keep creating every single day. You are meant to be my family, my home and my partner. It is weird to know that life will one day end for us, I just want to make sure I pick someone that will make me feel alive even when knowing one day I’m going to die.

Journey

Dont let you soul scape from who you are, you were meant for more 

People ask me dont you get lonely at times? 

I get so lonely and when you take all away pain is the only thing left and it’s real but it’s because of that same pain that I have hope and excitement to finally get what I believe I deserve. 

We humans all make mistakes, nobody will ever be perfect and that is so incredibly beautiful, the same way that you aren’t perfect your life will be the same. You can’t ask of yourself something that not even our lives are capable of giving us. Dont be so hard on yourself but keep your purpose and journey in front of you. 

People learn from example, from words and by being supported. You are the people you hang out with, you are the books you read, the tv you watch, the food you eat, the music you listen and the energy you put out. You are every single thing you do. So do it as if you were teaching a daughter or a son by example. Do it as you were consistenly the LEAD on your on movie. 

WHO WOULD YOU BE? 

Who would you be if everyone on earth were meant to be just like you? How can you be a messenger of HOPE? 

It starts with YOU!